DATING AN ATHEIST
Why shared hobbies don't matter if you don't share a Root
Question: “Do you think it is possible to be in a relationship with someone who does not believe in the Creator, when I do? Can there still be Light there?”
The Pivot
This question seems external. It seems to be about “him.” But it is not about anyone else. It returns entirely to you.
Before we ask if “there can be Light,” we must stop and define the terms. What is a relationship? What is faith? Who is the Creator? And what is Light? As long as these concepts are unclear in the psyche, the question will be asked again and again without an answer.
The Definitions
Relationship: It is not “being with someone.” There is no “someone” there. There is You inside a connection.
Faith: It is not an opinion or a worldview. It is a mode of existence.
The Creator: He is not an idea. He is the Root Point from which you live.
Light: Light is simply being You, truly. Being connected to your Root without apologizing and without shrinking.
The Friction
Light means standing next to a person who also lives from that same Source. Not someone you need to explain yourself to. Not someone you need to fix, influence, or justify yourself in front of.
Therefore, this is not a Yes/No question. It is a question of Clarification (Birur).
The Motive
Here is a man who tells you simply: “I do not believe.” If you are a believer, the question is not what is theoretically possible. The question is: What are you doing with this information?
Are you entering the relationship with the hope of changing him? Softening him? Enlightening him? “Working” on him? Why do you want to be there? What attracts you to a place where your Root Point is not shared? Anything that pulls you there is material for internal work, not external justification.
The Structure
It is very similar to the question: “I met a married man. Can there be Light there?” Even there, the answer is not technical. Every person needs to know where they are entering and why, so they don’t stand there in retrospect asking “How did I do this?”
There is no judgment here. There is only responsibility. Responsibility to know what is the Basic Assumption from which you launch your life. And are you willing to live in a place where this assumption is not shared?
The Verdict
The Light is not found in the relationship itself. It is not a result of compatibility or incompatibility. The Light is found in your loyalty to yourself.
If this expands you—you have something to clarify. If this contracts you—that is also an answer. The question is not asking for a solution. It is asking for learning. And when you truly listen to the question, it already begins to shine.
Translated from the Hebrew Transmissions of Ruth Kedem
ORIYA’S NOTE
We treat faith like it’s a hobby. Like tennis. “I like tennis, he likes golf, but we make it work.”
But Faith isn’t a hobby. It is an Operating System. If you are running iOS (The world is a dialogue with the Creator) and he is running MS-DOS (The world is random biology and physics), you cannot run the same apps. You can share a dinner. You can share a bed. You can share a bank account. But you cannot share Reality.
Eventually, something big will happen—a death, a birth, a crisis. And you will look to the sky for meaning, and he will look to the statistics. And in that moment, you will feel the deepest loneliness a human can feel: The loneliness of not being seen.
Don’t look for a clone. But look for someone who lives in the same universe as you.