SELF-HELP VS. SELF-WORK
How can I work on myself without becoming self-obsessed?
The Egoistic Self
There is an Egoistic I... that puts itself in the center. And asks all the time: “What do I get?” “How do I look?” “What am I lacking?” And this is a closed occupation that distances one from the Other and from the Creator.
The Working Self
In contrast to it... there is a Working I. Which is a vessel for clarification... and is not a goal in itself.
The Work of Character Traits (Avodat HaMiddot) is not a preoccupation with the self. But the removal of partitions that prevent the light from passing through me. And therefore... it is possible not to think about myself in the egoistic sense, and at the same time be in very high inner awareness.
The Shrinking
When a person checks his character traits in order to resemble the Creator... He does not enlarge the “I.” Rather... he diminishes it. And as the ego weakens... space becomes available for more humility, simplicity, and openness to the other.
The Litmus Test
The sign that the work is being done correctly... Is that it brings a Settled Mind (Yishuv HaDa’at) and closeness. And not the heaviness of guilt... or an endless circling around the self.
The Paradox
And so it turns out... that the more one truly works on the character traits... the less one thinks about oneself. And the less one thinks about oneself... the work is done more precisely.
And this is the depth of the path... In which the person does not disappear. But ceases to be the center.


This is a serious dilemma. It reminds me of an age-old quote: Instead of chasing butterflies, build a garden. The butterflies will run when you chase them. A garden attracts them, and they'll stay. And if they don't, you'll still have a beautiful garden.