SILENCE IS NOT HUMILITY
When "keeping the peace" becomes a betrayal of the soul
A teacher wrote about enduring constant verbal abuse and screaming from her principal. She feels helpless, as the system backs the aggressor. She finally spoke up and said, “You cannot talk to me like that,” but now faces the backlash of “power and connections.”
The Diagnosis of Violence
Let’s be clear before any “spiritual depth” is discussed: Shouting, humiliation, and the use of fear—even if wrapped in “authority”—are violence. Period. When a manager screams at a teacher in the hallway, in front of students, it is not a “one-time event.” It testifies to a pattern. And the fact that the system backs it up testifies to a sick system.
The Price of Silence
For years, you swallowed it out of fear. When someone holds power, connections, and your livelihood in their hands, the body enters “Survival Mode.” But prolonged silence has a price. It erodes self-worth. It undermines your sense of reality. It causes a person to doubt themselves even when they are right.
The Shift
The moment you said, “You cannot talk to me like that,” was a moment of health. It was not cheekiness. It was a boundary.
At a certain stage in human work, silence is no longer humility. It is the abandonment of truth. Correction (Tikkun) is not just about being “good.” It is about being present. Not to fight. But not to disappear.
The Rot in the System
You are touching the core of a phenomenon that is neither accidental nor personal. It is a sign of accumulated rot in systems that have ceased to develop from within. When a system loses the connection to the Values that justify its existence, it begins to defend itself through Control, Belittling, and Silencing.
Many suffer inside these systems and stay silent because of the existential threat: Livelihood. Future. Reputation. But collective silence does not stabilize a sick system. It accelerates its internal collapse.
The Exit Strategy
Your responsibility is not to “fix the system.” Your responsibility is simpler and deeper: To guard your body and your soul.
Do not be alarmed that “she has connections.” A workplace is not a Catholic Marriage. You are not trapped. You are at a transition point. Ask yourself: “How do I remain true to myself without burning bridges?” Sometimes the path continues inside the system with clear boundaries. Sometimes the path requires movement. You don’t have to decide now. But you must stop paying the price in silence.
When a person stops feeding a sick system at the cost of their internal life, the system loses power. Not because of a fight. But because of a lack of agreement.
Translated from the Hebrew Transmissions of Ruth Kedem
ORIYA’S NOTE
We are trained to be “professionals.” We are told that being a professional means having a thick skin, being a team player, and not “making a scene.” So when a boss acts like a toddler with a megaphone, we freeze. We try to be the “bigger person.”
But there is a difference between being the “bigger person” and being a doormat. A doormat gets stepped on. A bigger person sets the standard.
If you are in an environment where abuse is normalized as “management style,” you are breathing in asbestos. You can tell yourself you are strong enough to filter it out, but eventually, the toxicity gets in the walls of your own psyche. You are not paid enough to be abused. No one is.