The Holy Art of Pulling Away (Havdalah)
We often feel guilty when we don't want to participate in social events or family drama. But "Avoidance" can be a high spiritual stage. It is the ability to distinguish between what drains you...
THE VALUE OF FOCUSING INWARD
There is great value in the decision to focus on yourself. On serenity. On Essence.
Every such step— Of filtering out the unnecessary, Of solving things outside the system— Is actually an Expansion of the Inner Light. Exactly as the correction (Tikun) of the Soul requires in the end.
THE TIKUN OF HAVDALAH (SEPARATION)
There are things that, when we do not connect to them, do not contribute to our correction. Therefore, there is no point in forcing ourselves into action that the heart does not want.
This is a type of Tikun of “Havdalah” (Separation). Or “Retirement.”
The intention is the Distinction between what is good and beneficial for us, and what is not. This is actually a step forward in understanding the Essence of everything.
THE CONTROLLED SOUL
A controlled soul is not dragged after social or external situations. If it has an internal place of wholeness, It can stand before a world that revolves around external forms.
The meaning is: Not every external situation transmits light or spiritual benefit. Especially if it is in a place of:
Temptation.
Honor based on lies.
Or Hypocrisy.
THE ACT OF NON-PARTICIPATION
This can be interpreted as an internal “Spreading of Light”: To choose not to be part of it. To dedicate yourself to doing things that are more connected to Truth.
It must be remembered that such coping is also an Internal Correction. Not to accept everything without asking: “Does this belong to my consciousness?” “Is this the way I want to live?”
There is simply no point in being a partner to a system that causes you:
Discomfort.
Unrest.
Or Internal Conflict.
This is an act of Internal Action: Building boundaries that are healthier and deeper.
AVOIDANCE AS A STAGE
Every action in our lives, Even the Filtering of external experiences, Is a stage in the process leading us to greater internal wholeness.
The Avoidance... Is sometimes a necessary stage in the process of Recognition and Agreement with yourself and your Internal Destiny.
Your avoidance can be not just something that “feels right” at this moment, But a stage in an internal process of Connection to Truth. A Truth your Soul is asking for.
This is the choice: To take a step back. To separate yourself. And to go with what is happening in your heart.
FREEDOM FROM “THEM”
Every action of ours, every step we choose, does not have to be motivated only by the social or external context.
If a soul chooses the path of “Havdalah”— Whether it is exiting a situation or connecting to internal truth— It is an influence of a deep Soul Correction.
A way where you are not dragged after external forces that ask you for “this or that” just because it is expected.
Internal Freedom does not depend on how much you blend in with the expectations of others.
THE VALUE OF DISTINCTION
Even if you are “Separate”— There is great value in this process. Because exactly now, You understand who you truly are. And what you want to avoid.
It is possible that this process will require more time for you to understand it. But every such decision is actually a process of Internal Connection.
WHAT WILL THEY SAY?
Regarding “What will they say?”: Perhaps this is an opportunity to examine the way you connect yourself to your Value System, And not necessarily to the value system dictated by Society.
You do not have to cooperate with an external demand that you have no connection to.
Perhaps specifically through your choice, you will grow. You will bring yourself to a place of much wider Wholeness. A place that will allow you to choose your path in life out of True Internal Connection.
THE AUTHENTIC INSISTENCE
The process of life is not always pleasant. And it is not always meant to be synchronized with what is expected of us from the outside.
True development occurs when we start to Gather Inward. Not to answer every “demand” of the environment. But to insist on the Authentic Connection to Truth.