You Are Not Here to Renovate the Prison
Why the mortgage, the vacation, and even the family cannot redeem you. The only exit ticket is "Knowing."
“The connection with the Creator is the only eternal connection. Relationships, mortgages, vacations—it’s all vanity. We came down here to ask ‘Until when?’ If I reincarnate again, I’ve lost. The husband won’t redeem me, the house won’t redeem me. Only the Creator. We must be ‘locked in’ on Him and say: ‘You are the Goal, and I am ready to give up everything to reach You.’ Otherwise, it is heresy.”
You are speaking the language of the End of Days. This is the speech of a soul that has finished playing in the sandbox.
When a person asks: “Until when will I continue to roll into this world and not know?” This is the most necessary question for human existence.
The Illusion of the “Matrix” You are right. Most people are busy all their lives with:
What to cook for the holiday.
Where to fly for vacation.
How much mortgage to take.
Getting married because “that’s the world.”
There is no contradiction in living life, but there is a contradiction in Worshipping Life.
The Axiom of Redemption You laid down a sharp truth that is hard for the digestion of the sleeping: Nothing in this world can redeem you.
The child will not redeem you.
The husband/wife will not redeem you.
The beautiful house will not redeem you.
The vacation in Eilat will not redeem you.
These are all Sets on the Stage. They are meant to be tools for work, not the essence of the work. Whoever thinks the “Set” is the “Reality” is in exile.
The Fear of Reincarnation (Gilgul) You wrote: “If I roll again... ‘I’m screwed’.” This fear is healthy. It is the engine of the Awakening.
The Baal Shem Tov teaches that the moment a person realizes they are in a prison, the prison ceases to be a home and becomes a Waiting Room. The “Exit Ticket” from the cycle of reincarnations is exactly what you described: To change the Point of View.
“Ready to Give Up Everything” This does not mean we must leave our families or stop working. It means we must perform Internal Renunciation (Vituro Pnimi).
To say to the Creator: “I am playing the role of mother/employee/spouse, But I know that You are the only Player.”
This is the definition of “A Jew Lives”: To be “locked in” on the Target. To know that everything else is a means.
If I love my spouse—it is because the Creator commanded me to love. If I raise children—it is to raise them to Him. If I pay a mortgage—it is to have a sanctuary to pray in.
But to think that the House/Spouse/Money is the source of happiness? That is, as you said, Heresy (Kefira). It is worshipping the hammer instead of the Architect.
The Summary “Happy is she who bore you.” You have woken up. Now, the work is to walk inside the world, while your head is deep in the Heavens.
You are the destination. And everything else is just the road.
Reflect:
The List: Make a list of the things you are “worshipping” today (worrying about excessively). Remind yourself: “This will not redeem me.”
The Goal: Can you look at your life right now and say, “I am ready to give up the attachment to all of this, just to know You”?
The Shift: Stop renovating the prison cell. Start looking for the key.